Five things that will make you happier? Nu-nu ...

Remember how it happens in science fiction novels? There is an artifact that allows you to “travel” from one body to another, changing them like gloves. Imagine that you have a complete carte blanche for changing your body and, therefore, changing your life. Concentrate and think, and with whom it would be nice to "wave" bodies and lives? Complicated? Ok, a little tip: usually men choose the body and life of Brad Pitt, and women - naturally, Angelina Jolie. Submitted?

But now let's complicate the task. Only you are going to move into the body of Pitt or Jolie, as your artifact is broken. And at the time of the transfer, you accidentally "landed" in the body of one of the six billion inhabitants of the planet Earth - for example, some poor inhabitant of a village somewhere in Nigeria. And that's it, the artifact is broken. This is your last body in this life - until death.

Obviously, you need to change something. "I do not want to be poor from a Nigerian village!" - scream you at night in the pillow. And what do you want in return? In your place, most people will want quite obvious things, let's list them all.

№5. Fame

I have a daughter. I do not know if you have a daughter, but if you have, you probably know - all the daughters want to become actresses or singers. Let not all the time, not all their childhood, they dream about it, but at least one day, I assure you of this, your daughter dreamed about fans, fame and flowers.

It must be admitted that sometimes the desire for fame in some girls (and boys too!) Does not go away over the years. Today it is much easier to become a “star”, even the producer is not really needed - it’s enough to submit yourself correctly to VKontakte, Youtube and even Do you know who singer Valentine is? And model Daria Perel? Singer Amatue? Or there is such a famous Yevgeny Volnov. I am now here are more competent colleagues tried to explain who he is and what is famous, but I did not understand. My knowledge of modern youth stopped and stopped somewhere at the mark "Roma Acorn".

Explain to me, please, WHAT THE FUCK? Hundreds of years, and what are there hundreds - thousands - of years, mankind has survived, and the main drivers of growth were 1) safety and 2) material benefits. A dead mammoth was needed in a cave and smaller predators around it. And now - here you are: "I want to be an actress! And that candy over there!"

And what is the main problem? What do psychologists tell us? The problem, as usual, lies in the family. Parents are either constantly absent or emotionally very far from their children. There are even studies confirming that the growing interest in children's fame begins somewhere in the middle of the 20th century - and in Europe and America this is the main break in the way of life: a woman ceases to be just a "housewife", now she wants to pursue her career on a par with a man. There are also trends that have only become more popular over the years: parental divorce is normal. Raising a child alone is normal. And if a child has only one parent, then he should drag the mammoth into the cave, and drive flocks of wild animals from the cave, keep the fire in the hearth, and keep pace through the cave with a vacuum cleaner to run.

And the consequences are very sad. The child loves his parents, but the parents do not pay him return love. The mechanism originally inherent in us, which allowed a person for thousands of years to raise his offspring, bringing him to maturity and independent navigation, suddenly began to fail: the two-way communication broke, only one-way remained. And the child, of course, wants to change places with the parent - this is where the desire to become famous comes from.

Millions love you and want to be with you. Crowds of fans freeze for hours in the cold waiting for you to run past them, without even leaving an autograph. You climb into your limousine, graciously taking this love and indifferently looking behind the glass. And all because you were abandoned in childhood and did not receive the love that you should have received by right only of your birth.

But it turns out that universal adoration does not relieve this pain. Public people are four times more likely to commit suicide. And that is not all…

If you still convince yourself that your parents have given you a lot of time, and the thirst for glory still does not leave you, then I dare to assure you - we have not finished yet. Recent studies show that a person feels deep permanent stress when he lives to achieve goals that have been set by other people. Especially if other people - this is a huge faceless crowd, which forms an idea of ​​you only by publications in the press and photo shoots on the covers of magazines. A person in this situation does not live his life, but the one that is expected of him. He can't do the simplest things. For example, drink coffee at McDuck. Because there is a risk that you will be recognized, sfotkayut, put on the Internet - and your career will come to an end.

In this situation, a person begins to seek solace among friends, but there is no circle. Around there are only microversion of yourself, wishing to get your piece of "glory" at your expense.

№4. Wealth

So, let's not bullshit. We will not rub here each other, that we are all such highly moral and refined natures, and that happiness is not in money, and that there are a lot of things that are more important than wealth (there are no heaps, there are a maximum of three things that you want more money - and about them speech ahead). You even begin your day with what you think, how to bring yourself closer to the money you dream of. And naturally, the easiest way to get rich is to win the lottery, right?

By the way, a very good moment to ask you: if you knew that your artifact could break down and transfer you to the body of a resident of a Nigerian village, would you use it? Any sane person will answer: of course not. This is a statistic. Residents of poor villages of Nigeria, Bangladesh or Pakistan are many times more than rich and prosperous people.

It was a trap. According to many polls, the inhabitants of the Brazilian favels feel much happier than the residents of New York, for example. And even the inhabitants of Nigerian villages consider themselves happier than the inhabitants of Paris or London. There are different ratings. The rating of happiness from Gallop is the Happy Planet Index, but in all these ratings the countries with a low level of income per capita are leading. By rating Happy Planet Index, for example, the happiest country in the post-Soviet space is Kyrgyzstan.

And Nigeria in these ratings "makes" the United States in full. By the way, we forgot to report that the average Nigerian lives on $ 300 a year. This is less than even one hundredth of the average annual income of the average American. What else is there to add? Well, only this eloquent fact: in America over 120 million prescriptions for antidepressants are issued annually.

You say per capita income and the level of happiness are not connected in any way? China is a good example that there is a relationship. The explosive growth of the economy in this country took place against the backdrop of a rapid decline in the level of happiness of ordinary citizens.

There are quite scientific explanations for this. First, a person feels like depression when he reaches his goal. (And very often we set goals for ourselves precisely material, and often we achieve them if the economic situation in the country works for us, and not against us). This is a normal human reaction. Depression is needed to “bring” a person back to normal, to start setting new goals for himself, rather than spend the rest of his life in the pool in his own villa somewhere in Phuket (or where did you notice the villa there?).

Secondly, people are social creatures. And we constantly compare ourselves with our neighbors, colleagues and acquaintances. That is why a business owner will cry into a pillow at night, having an annual profit of half a dollar, if the country house neighbor makes five lima dollars a year clean. You do not make $ 500,000 a year clean and, of course, now you are laughing at someone who makes them and at the same time complains about life? Well, then let the inhabitant of the Nigerian village laugh at your problems too. After all, everything is fair: according to statistics, you earn 10-100 times less than those who earn half a million dollars a year. The average Nigerian also earns about 10-100 times less than you. And he thinks about you: oh, I would have your problems.

The most interesting thing about this one. When you start spinning in circles with people with higher incomes (and this, by the way, is the recommendation given at all trainings of the so-called "personal growth" - like, surround yourself with successful people, and you will reach out for them), you think now I will earn some money and buy myself the same phone, the same suit, the same car. But in fact, everything will be wrong. When you start earning as much as the most successful of your circle, you are more likely to start buying more expensive phones, more expensive suits and more expensive cars for yourself. This is your compensation for - can I use this word here? - envy.

By the way, how about really big money that comes quite unexpectedly? Well, in the lottery, for example, win 300 million rubles? Or write a novel, and - suddenly - immediately a bestseller with huge royalties and film adaptations in Hollywood? It would be nice, right? You tell yourself: after all, fast and big money will not allow me to forget myself, as I was just recently. I do not have time to "get funny". Now is the time to cite as an example William Post, who won the lottery for more than $ 16 million and ended his life with an outstanding debt of $ 1 million. In private life, too, did not develop: he was married 7 times - in all cases unsuccessfully. Last years survived at the expense of food stamps.

But that is not all. Remember, in the chapter on fame, we talked about the fact that the environment of famous people are people who want to get their piece of fame. Here everything will be the same. Only your entourage will desire another from you. I bet you can’t guess at the first attempt, what? Yes, I lost.

And you will live your whole life in doubt: what do all these people really want? Do they really wish me well? Or just want to ride on my personal plane? Will they also curl around you if you lose all your fortune in a flash?

When I told how William Post ended his life, I forgot to mention that they attempted to kill his life, hired a killer. To hell with him, but the customer was his brother.

Number 3. beauty

Well, it's hard to argue that physically attractive people have a lot of advantages. They earn more, they get more likes in VKontakte. They, as a rule, have better jobs, better partners for sex, and much more better than those of less attractive acquaintances. And in the end - they have a better emotional background than you have. Experiments were conducted, and it turned out that even on the streets they more often and more answer the questions "how to get to the Kremlin?" Than me or you. Well, ok, I lied about the experiences, but I think that this does not differ much from reality.

But remember that in our article we are talking about five things that, like (kakbe!), Should make you happier, not more successful, right? In fact, outwardly attractive people have the same problems with self-esteem as their less attractive relatives. Beauty, like money, is a very relative thing. There is always one who is more beautiful than you.

In other words, beautiful people are worried that there is someone more beautiful than them, just like you are worried that your friend and Friday drinking companion - let on a little bit, but earn more than you.

But that's not all.

Physically attractive people live in their own special world, with disturbed feedback. When the "glamorous kiso" in the men's bar tells unfunny jokes, she gets a complementary laugh with the answer. But this laugh means nothing. Fake flattery accompanies them all the time. Nothing can be done about it, this world is so arranged. Therefore, attractive people do not see and do not understand the true arrangement of this world. And at some point it turns into a serious blow, from which - it happens - it is very difficult to recover.

№2. Brilliant talent

Of course, we are talking about brilliant talent in the broad sense of the word. The genius was not only Pushkin, but Valery Kharlamov. Genius is a gift of fate. An impossibility that still happens in nature. And you need to distinguish genius from just talent. After all, talent is often the result of fruitful work. Genius is not due to anything. And is the result of nothing. Kharlamov would continue to remain a great hockey player - even if in some other, non-existent reality - even if he never took clubs in the real world. But for all that, Kharlamov had more in common with Pushkin than with his partners in the ice.

Besides the fact that it is a gift of fate, as soon as your brilliant talent recognizes society, it - society - forever excludes you from its ranks. From now on you are not like all of us. And thank God, if your ingenious talent is seen in you only after your death.

In order not to offend any of the living, let's look at how the relationship between genius and society is based on a fictional example. Did House House all watch? I fizzled out on the third season, but, it should be noted, the relationship between House and society is shown in the series very precisely. House is allowed a lot of what we would not allow anyone else: he takes drugs right at work, he behaves like an aggressive asocial man, he insults his superiors and often treats his patients like shit. And while we surely on his side, yes?

Yes, damn it, tell me how is that even possible?

To understand the daily life of a genius, all you have to do is to go into a society of absolute, complete idiots, the most stupid, most incompetent people that you can only imagine. You need to listen to their idiotic jokes daily. Look at their stupid worthless work every day. And while taking their daily adoration. Yes, oh great, we are such idiots, forgive us and accept us as we are.

You will not have friends by default if you are a genius. Truly interesting people you will meet very rarely. Communicating with people will be a daily disappointment, because your surroundings are stuck somewhere on the fifth or sixth level by your own standards, and you are a magician of the eightieth level.

If you are a genius, then you are a loner. And, believe me, in our usual human life is not easy. But that's not all ...

If you are a genius, then you are out of the norm. In the literal sense of the word. Most likely, you have a bunch of mental illnesses and delusions, the lightest of which will be bipolar affective disorder. Among us, ordinary people, only 1% of the population suffers from this disease. Among people who write poetry, bipolar disorder is detected in 50%, among musicians - in 38%, among artists - in 20%. Why am I doing this? Yes, just see how many great musicians, innovators committed suicide or died of an overdose. Do many plumbers end their lives the same way? I think it would be better for your family to be an ordinary plumber.

№1. Power

You will never hear from small children that they want to have power when they grow up. However, the thirst for power is present in all our desires. The thirst for fame is nothing more than the thirst to have power over people. The thirst for wealth is the thirst to have power over money, and through them the thirst to control people. The thirst for physical attractiveness is a thirst to have power over people. And even the thirst for genius is the thirst for power.

Money and power are, in general, everything that people want for the most part. And the whole path of most people in this world is the path to power and money. This does not mean that each of you strives to become Abramovich by all means. Someone just wants to go one step up their career ladder. Someone wants to be a school teacher. Someone wants to become a regular road patrol officer. Will you argue? Or do you confess?

No, perhaps you have never dreamed of power. You never asked for an increase in salary? You did not change the job for the best? You did not seek to appreciate you more? Maybe even you live a hermit in the forest and you do not care about all the values ​​of society?

Ok, let's say for a moment that I convinced you. But you reasonably argue with me: so what's the problem? Well, I want power and money, you say - and now what?

Well, I even reluctant to write "power corrupts." Oh, already written. It is so obvious that it does not require proof. Even when typing this phrase - “power corrupts” - I feel stupid.

The problem of corruption — not only in Russia, but anywhere else — is a consequence of this corruption. Wherever there is power, one can see the negative consequences of power. All people abuse their power - from your asshole-leader to a trainer in the gym. Несколько капель власти, превышающие вашу обычную норму, пьянят сильнее алкоголя. Любой человек, наделенный властью, в большей или меньшей степени мудак по отношению к другим людям. Не потому что он плохой. Кого вы ненавидите в данный момент больше всего из тех, кто наделен властью над вами? Вы мне, вероятно, не поверите, но я вам скажу: с очень высокой степенью вероятности вы на его месте вели бы себя гораздо хуже.

Power itself is poisonous. Perhaps this is the most destructive thing for the human person. But the government has a crucial role for human society. It is thanks to the presence of power over us that we fulfill our social contracts and obligations. Without power, society will not survive. And such a focus has been thrown out by nature: the most unenviable role in society - to be power - is not assigned the most unsuitable people for society, all the best, talented and intelligent people are drawn to it with all the fibers of their soul.

But I have bad news for you. It is not only the power itself that is poisonous, the very desire to possess this power is poisonous (and it acts destructively on your brain). This is one of the most primitive animal instincts that we have. In the animal world there is no love, compassion and desire to do good. There are instincts. And the thirst for power - one of the most important instincts necessary for the survival of the species.

Do you really want power? Or do you want to be human? I think that now is the time to make a choice.

And what remains for me? What can make me happier?

Look at this picture for 10 seconds:

What emotions are you experiencing?

Experts say that it is impossible to predict the emotional reaction of a person to events that have not yet occurred in his life. In other words, you do not physically understand what you want. And do not know how to respond to this photo. Would you like to be on the site of this person?

No answer to this question. All your human experience and your genetic memory do not give you an answer. It seems dangerous in the arms of a tiger. But the tiger does not behave aggressively. There is clearly some kind of affection, and some kind of warmth in a relationship. But all your ancestors to Adam (well, or what was the name of your great-great-great-ancestor? Just Australopithecus?) Never experienced anything like that. They were more busy picking wild berries and running away from hungry predators. Now imagine for a moment - you are walking in the woods, and a tiger is hugging you. And now what?

What is it for me? Various studies show that the level of happiness in people increases friendship, altruism, and religious practices (which, in turn, also imply giving, yes?). Sometimes one thing is enough, but in very strong concentration.

It sounds stunningly simple. As if the gods are making fun of us. All that we want does not give us happiness in reality. Happiness in giving yourself, your work, your feelings to others.

And in the end I'll tell you this. Remember our artifact at the beginning of the article? Actually, it is real. You really, just a few moments ago, were moved into your present body. You got a human body at the very moment when he read this very article. You moved into it completely, without a trace. No past life, no memory of her. All your memory of yourself is the memory of that other person. And all your memories, your feelings and your affections are memories, feelings and affections other. And the artifact is actually broken. And there is nothing else, not a single thread that would connect you with who you were. And all you need now is to finally start climbing.

They closed their eyes, exhaled ten times. And now forward - in the arms of a good tiger.

Thanks for reading.

Watch the video: Marshmello ft. Bastille - Happier Official Music Video (April 2020).


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